What Improv Comedy Looks Like to Outsiders (McSweeney’s)

From  AN OPEN LETTER TO WOULD-BE IMPROV COMEDIANS by Daniel Falk:

“It wasn’t long into the show before the performers exposed themselves as the deadbeat hacks I now know them to be…. 

What do you imagine happened after I delivered the clever suggestion of a dildo, an object of obvious value to any comedic scene? Did they leap in joy, anticipating what was sure to be a priceless scene, and reach down to high-five me, the man who made it so? No. They ignored it. Worse than that, they gave each other these wretched looks, seeming to imply that they were so much better than a dildo. After an awkward moment some craven fool from the back of the room shouted out “bicycle” and off they went to do a tedious scene that never seemed to end. What comedic potential they saw in a bicycle is simply beyond me. I can imagine any number of delightful ends to which a dildo could be used.”